Archive for category Marriage & Divorce

A Response to Brother Bill Cavender

Originally Written October 12, 2004

The September 2004 issue of Gospel Truths contained an article I wrote rejecting the false teaching of brother Bill Cavender. brother Cavender believes and teaches that a woman who was put away by her husband (not for fornication) can lawfully remarry after her ex-husband remarries or commits adultery.

As I stated in my original article, I find brother Cavender’s teaching to be false and utterly devoid of Scriptural basis. The Scriptures teach that a put away spouse cannot remarry until such time that their original spouse may die.

Brother Cavender has replied to my article. The first half of his reply is scheduled to be published in the November 2004 issue of Gospel Truths. The second part is scheduled to be published in the December 2004 issue of Gospel Truths. I will have a brief response to each of these parts in the same issues.

In the interim, brother Cavender has been emailing his rather lengthy response to brethren across the country. Rather than wait until the November publication to respond to brother Cavender’s article, I have prepared this response and will make it available to interested brethren.

Because of the length of this response, I organized it in a manner that I hope is easy to read. The following 13 topics are addressed in this reply:

Ø The Issue Is Not

Ø The Issue Is

Ø The Original Four Articles: An Attempt to Help?

Ø Jesus Forbids But brother Cavender Permits

Ø “Whosoever” Means Whosoever

Ø It’s Either Right or Its Wrong

Ø A Divorce is Still a Real Divorce

Ø Woods/Cavender on Civil Action

Ø An Unnecessary Conclusion

Ø One of Us is A False Teacher

Ø The Identity of the Woman

Ø Is Jesus’ Teaching Really a Theory?

Ø Some Wise Words From Young brother Cavender

The Issue Is Not

In his reply brother Cavender wants to make sure everyone understands that I am a young preacher. If 37 years old makes a man young, then I’m guilty as charged. But brother Cavender knows that my age is not the issue before us.

I trust all thoughtful brethren understand that young Gospel preachers are still Gospel preachers and must reject false teaching even if it comes from older men. A certain 33-year-old preacher wrote a good article in The Gospel Guardian, June 23, 1960 (Vol. 12, No. 9, page 129) titled “Trends Toward Apostasy – (No. II).” This young Gospel preacher identified false teachers by name and publicly rebuked them for teaching false doctrine:

“our eructative brother Gayle Oler… he helped a denominational church in its work of teaching and rearing children in error which will damn their souls… our erstwhile brother Pat Hardeman has openly made a break with the Lord’s church, has announced his apostasy and shipwreck of faith… brother Thomas Cook used to believe the truth but found it highly convenient and profitable to change his convictions after he began full-time preaching.”

In the midst of the great apostasy of institutionalism and liberalism, these men needed to listen to the warning call of the young Gospel preacher Bill Cavender. As a young man, brother Cavender rejected false teaching because God’s word required it of him. I’ve rejected the false teaching of brother Cavender because God’s word requires it of me (Titus 1:10-13, Acts 4:20).

My age or Bill Cavender’s age is not the issue before us.

Brother Cavender also quoted at great length Guy Woods’ arguments in favor of the mental divorce position (interestingly enough, Guy Woods was a key part of that great apostasy young brother Cavender so eloquently condemned in 1960). brother Cavender says, “The above by Guy N. Woods well states what I have believed and taught for fifty-eight years.” It is troubling to see a Gospel Preacher who worked hard to reject the false teaching of men like Guy Woods, now relying so heavily upon Guy Woods for their defense of this false teaching on marriage, divorce and remarriage.

Nevertheless, what Guy Woods had to say about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriages is not the issue before us.

Brother Cavender also provided a lengthy summary of Old Testament teaching on divorce and remarriage. But that’s not the issue either. We know that the Old Testament has great value for us today (Rom. 15:14, 1 Cor. 10:11, 2 Tim. 3:16-17, etc.). But when Jesus spoke on the subject of marriage, divorce and remarriage He did not go back to Moses’ law. Jesus went back to the “beginning” (Matt. 19:4) – all the way back to the first union of a man and a woman.

Thus, whatever Moses taught or did not teach, or what God permitted or did not permit under the Law of Moses is not the issue in this discussion.

The issue is also not who gets to the courthouse first. If a wife learns that her husband is guilty of marital fornication and yet he is attempting to divorce her, she can easily participate in the court process and put him away for the reason of fornication. It matters not who arrives at the courthouse first or who hires an attorney first.

If a husband decides to divorce his wife for reasons other than fornication, and he himself has never committed fornication, there can be no race to the courthouse. A race requires two or more parties. If this ungodly husband wants to divorce his wife and yet he has not committed fornication, the godly wife has no reason and no grounds for divorce. Thus there is no race in this circumstance either.

The Issue Is

The issue before us is simple. Do the Scriptures authorize a woman whose husband unlawfully divorced her (a divorce not for fornication) to marry another while he still lives, or did Jesus prohibit the divorced woman from remarrying while her original spouse still lives?

The Original Four Articles: An Attempt to Help?

The original four articles published in Truth Magazine under the title of “Observations and Experiences Regarding Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage” – were they intended to help Christians deal with the difficulties of this subject? Of course they were. They consumed valuable print real estate in Truth Magazine. They were obviously the result of much work and thought on the part of brother Cavender. They were clearly designed to help Christians.

Unfortunately, they presented a loose view of God’s laws on marriage, divorce and remarriage. Thus, although they may be labeled as “Reminiscences” we have every right (and in fact a duty – Acts 17:11) to evaluate the message and respond with a Biblical perspective. The original four articles, what they taught, the message they contained and the author’s beliefs and teaching are all open for Biblical scrutiny.

Jesus Forbids But brother Cavender Permits

In Mt. 5:32, 19:9 and Luke 16:18 Jesus forbids the put away wife from remarrying. In these texts we have (1) a lawful marriage, (2) an unlawful putting away, (3) an unlawful and adulterous remarriage on the part of the man and (4) a prohibition on remarriage for the put away wife.

Paul’s teaching is consistent with Jesus’ teaching and nowhere does Paul authorize a put away wife to remarry another man save on the death of her ex-husband (Rom. 7:1-3). Nor does Peter grant an exception for Jesus’ prohibition on a put away spouse remarrying. Luke does not. John does not. Jude does not. James does not. No New Testament writer overturns the teaching of Jesus.

Yet, brother Cavender has been permitting for “fifty-eight years” what Jesus prohibited. He follows Jesus’ teaching for a little while. He sees a (1) lawful marriage, (2) an unlawful putting away, and (3) an unlawful and adulterous remarriage on the part of the man. But then brother Cavender says “she can remarry” while Jesus says “whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery” (Luke 16:18).

None of the inspired writers wrote anything that could even be misconstrued as permission for the put away wife to remarry. On what authority does brother Cavender permit what Scripture forbids?

Is the Scriptural prohibition on a divorced wife remarrying prior to the death of her lawful husband a “theory” or Bible truth? We know where brother Cavender stands. Let the reader stand fast on the Scriptures and reject all contrary teaching.

“Whosoever” Means Whosoever

Brother Cavender makes the following astonishing claim about my position:

“…he turns Matthew 19:9 ‘topsy-turvy’ by making the ‘whosoever’ mean a fornicating, immoral husband who repudiates his innocent, godly wife, instead of the ‘whosoever’ being an innocent, true, moral husband who repudiates his immoral, fornicating wife, as taught and contemplated by Jesus {emphasis mine – dwjr}.”

Read Matthew 19:9 again. In fact, let’s read it together from the NKJV:

“And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

Let’s check it from a few other versions. The KJV says “whosoever.” The ASV says “whosoever.” The NASB says “whoever.” Young’s Literal Translation says “whoever.”

Clearly, the “whosoever” means anybody, anyone, whoever, or whosoever that puts away their wife not for the cause of fornication. Clearly, if a person puts away his spouse not for fornication, he is violating God’s commands. Such a person is sinning. Clearly, such a person has turned his back on God’s law.

Yet brother Cavender somehow claims the “whosoever” is an “innocent, true, moral husband.” Do “innocent, true, moral husbands” put away their wives for unlawful reasons as Jesus was describing? Clearly they do not.

The true definition of “topsy-turvy” is any teaching from anybody that rejects such plain text meaning of the words of the Creator.

It’s Either Right or Its Wrong

Brother Cavender says:

“All my life I have urged and cautioned divorced, put away, people NOT to remarry, although Jesus gave innocent, divorced people a right of remarriage.”

If Jesus truly does give a person who was unlawfully divorced against his will a right of remarriage, as brother Cavender believes and teaches, why does he urge people NOT to do what he believes Jesus permits?

Brother Cavender and I both agree that if a man puts away his spouse because during the marriage she committed fornication, the man can remarry. Does brother Cavender also always urge those who divorced a guilty mate for fornication not to remarry? If not, why not? What is the difference?

Brother Cavender and I both agree that if a man’s wife dies, the man can remarry. Does brother Cavender also always urge those whose mate has died not to remarry? If not, why not? What is the difference?

If Jesus truly permits the put away innocent mate to remarry, then that put away innocent mate has every bit as much right to remarry as the one who puts away his guilty mate for fornication, or the one who has lost his mate to death.

In his response, brother Cavender claims that I doom the divorced wife to “a life of loneliness, celibacy, and rejection.” Now we learn that brother Cavender urges such an innocent put away wife to maintain a life of “loneliness, celibacy, and rejection” even though he thinks Jesus permits her to remarry.

I teach that Scripture prohibits remarriage for such a woman. I teach this because the Scriptures clearly state this in Mt. 5:32, Matthew. 19:9 and Luke 16:18. brother Cavender discourages such a woman to remarry even though he believes God gave her the right to remarry. So according to brother Cavender, God gives this innocent woman who was put away by an ungodly husband a right to remarry and to again enjoy the companionship, intimacy and joy of marriage. But brother Cavender tells her not to use the right that he thinks (incorrectly so) God gave her. brother Cavender teaches that Jesus permits such a wife to remarry, but he encourages her not to remarry and to rather submit to a life of “loneliness, celibacy, and rejection.”

And, he does not discourage such women to remarry in just a few isolated cases. According to his above statement, this is something he always discourages: “All my life I have urged and cautioned divorced, put away, people NOT to remarry….” But, he thinks Jesus permits it.

Paul in 1 Cor. 7:26 advised people to forgo their normal God-given rights to marriage, but that was due to a unique temporary circumstance that Paul refers to as this “present distress.” brother Cavender for 58 years has been teaching that Jesus gives a put away wife the right to remarry, but that she should not use such a right.

What brother Cavender ought to do is teach women that Jesus does not permit such remarriage and then his discouragement of such remarriages would have a Biblical basis.

A Divorce is Still a Real Divorce

Again, brother Cavender says of that long quotation of Guy Woods:

“The above by Guy N. Woods well states what I have believed and taught for fifty-eight years.”

Brother Cavender apparently agrees with Guy Woods when he says of his “John and Jane” illustration:

“Being a Christian woman, she does not recognize the state’s legal grounds for divorce, willing only to accept the Lord’s ground – fornication.”

Since brother Cavender agrees with this, we need to examine it in light of the Scriptures.

Woods/Cavender believe that this woman has the right to not recognize the unlawful divorce that is not for fornication. Is this a Biblical view or is this a view that has originated in the heart of men?

The problem that exists for Woods/Cavender is that Jesus recognized the unlawful divorce. Jesus said in Mt. 5:32, Mt. 19:9, Luke 16:18, etc. “…whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.” Jesus sees the unlawful divorce as a real divorce. It has real consequences. If an innocent wife should marry this husband who unlawfully divorced his wife, this new woman commits adultery. This divorce is a real event with real consequences.

The Woods/Cavender theory is that since the divorce not for fornication is unlawful, the woman has the right to ignore it and disregard it. But did Jesus say this? Surely if it is true, Jesus would have indicated that the woman has this right to ignore or refuse to acknowledge this unlawful divorce. But, Jesus says nothing of the sort. In fact, what Jesus does say to the innocent divorced wife is that she cannot remarry.

Consider the Woods/Cavender theory that a put away woman can ignore the unlawful divorce, disregard it, and consider it of no consequence to her. Examine the Scriptures. Is this a Biblical concept or a creation of man’s heart?

Woods/Cavender on Civil Action

Brother Cavender also agrees with his quoted statement from Guy Woods:

“If the objection is raised that Jane did not divorce John but John (the guilty party) divorced Jane, it should be remembered that divorce is a civil, legal action having nothing whatsoever to do with determining the moral and religious principles involved. It is the Lord’s edict not man’s, that governs.”

Let’s examine this particular aspect of the Woods/Cavender theory.

Woods/Cavender believe that since civil law permits what is unlawful, the event is not real and of no consequence. But what was Jesus dealing with in His teaching in Mt. 5:32, Mt. 19:9, Luke 16:18? He describes an unlawful divorce. It is a divorce where a man puts away his wife for some reason other than fornication. Was this a divorce according to God’s law? Absolutely not. It was in violation of God’s law.

Therefore, it must have been a divorce granted according to some civil or social standards of law. Yet, we know it is unlawful to God. Nevertheless, Jesus proclaims that the put away woman (in this context it is clearly a woman that has been put away by an unlawful civil process) must not remarry.

Therefore, in 33 A.D. Jesus was prohibiting a woman from remarrying who has been put away by her husband in an unlawful process.

Therefore, in 2004 A.D. Jesus prohibits a woman from remarrying who has been put away by her husband in an unlawful process.

And, in 2004 A.D. brother Cavender must align his teaching with Jesus’ teaching.

It is always interesting to see men write at great length about how civil law is subservient to God’s Divine law. But at the end of their arguments they themselves end up overthrowing Divine law by changing what Jesus said (“…whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”)

An Unnecessary Conclusion

For many years men like brother Cavender have taught us that we establish Biblical authority by using direct commands, approved examples and necessary conclusions. In fact, the Scriptures themselves show that this is how the early Christians established Bible authority. Acts 15 is an excellent example of all three of these methods being used to establish Biblical authority and reject false teaching.

But Woods/Cavender use unnecessary conclusions in defense of their false doctrine. The unnecessary conclusion is well stated by Woods/Cavender as follows:

“The New Testament teaches that when one of the parties of the marriage bond becomes guilty of fornication, the other (the innocent one, not the guilty) may scripturally put away the offending party and remarry.”

Note that this statement by Woods/Cavender is describing something that takes place after a divorce proceeding. The unnecessary conclusion is that this putting away of one who is guilty of adultery can be done even when there is ONLY a bond in place and well after the marriage has been ended and terminated by divorce.

The Scriptures show that divorce ends the marriage. It is the very nature of the word that we have translated as “put away” or “divorce.” It is a sending out, a repudiation of one’s spouse. It is a termination of the marriage relationship. It is contemplated as a real possibility by Jesus and Jesus is clear about the implications if it should occur. Read again what Paul said in 1 Cor. 7:11:

“But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.”

It is clear that Paul is contemplating divorce by either a wife or a husband and that if they do proceed with such an unlawful divorce they must remain “unmarried” or be “reconciled.”

Paul’s injunction to remain unmarried shows that divorce leaves the marriage broken and terminated.

Yet we know from Romans 7:1-3 that the bond remains after the unlawful divorce breaks the marriage. That is why subsequent remarriage on the part of either party is adultery.

It is Jesus’ teaching that shows the possibility of divorcing one’s spouse for fornication. In what context may this be done? Can it be done even if the marriage has been terminated and ended by divorce? Can it be done even when there is ONLY a marriage bond that remains?

What does Jesus describe in Mt. 19:9, Matthew 5:32 and Luke 16:18? At the beginning of the verses, are the husband and wife in or out of a marriage? Has the divorce occurred yet? The simple answer is that the man and woman are in a marriage and no divorce has occurred.

Then, the verses show an unlawful divorce. Next, the verses teach the consequences for both the man and woman.

Mt. 19:9 and Mt. 5:32 include the exception clause “except for fornication.” This clause is still subject to the context. What is the context? The context is: A lawful marriage, not 5 days, 5 years or 30 years after the marriage has been broken by divorce.

Thus Jesus’ granting of the ability to divorce a mate guilty of fornication is found in the context of an intact marriage AND a marriage bond.

Yet the Woods/Cavender position assumes and makes unnecessary conclusions that this ability to put away a fornicating mate extends to a different context. They assume it extends to cases of adultery that occur post-divorce, where ONLY the marriage bond remains. According to the Woods/Cavender theory, this post-divorce adultery that frees the innocent party could occur 5 days later, 5 years later or 30 years later.

But let brother Cavender show just one passage that clearly teaches that post-divorce adultery (5 days, 5 years or 30 years later) on the part of one’s ex-spouse qualifies that person to somehow put away their mate, who was already put away.

Jesus’ teaching is very clear. If during an intact marriage, one partner commits fornication, the other may divorce them lawfully. It is simply fanciful thinking to extend such privilege to post-divorce adultery.

One of Us is a False Teacher

Brother Cavender is convinced that I am teaching error:

“…he is misusing Scriptures and teaching error… DW quotes and misapplies part of Matt. 5:32, 19:9, and Luke 16:18… DW calls Jesus to witness of his contorted theory by misapplying the three verses he quoted… DW has misused and misapplied all of these Scriptures and has tried to make them say and teach something Jesus did not say and teach, all a vain attempt to uphold his theory and opinion… He should consider what 2 Timothy 2:15 says, and heed the warning in Galatians 1:6-9.”

Yet Jesus said, “…whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery” and brother Cavender says, “…whoever marries her who is divorced does not commit adultery.”

The warning of Gal. 1:6-9 is indeed a very important warning we must all heed. When I teach the exact words of Jesus in perfect harmony with the rest of the New Testament Scriptures – am I teaching another Gospel?

On the other hand, when a man twists and distorts the plain text meaning of the words of God – isn’t he the one guilty of teaching a new Gospel?

Who teaches error? Let the reader decide.

The Identify of The Woman

Brother Cavender says of the latter part of Matthew 19:9:

“…The context shows Jesus is talking about the woman who was divorced for fornication.”

On the contrary, in Mt. 5:32, Mt. 19:9, and Luke 16:18 Jesus also describes a man that divorces his wife for unlawful reasons. Divorce means exactly the same thing in either instance. Then Jesus says, “whoever marries her who is put away commits adultery.” Who is the “her”? The “her” is “her that is put away.” The context demands that the “her” is any woman that is divorced by her husband. It certainly includes a woman put away for unlawful reasons, as well as the woman put away for fornication. The truth is that brother Cavender has imagined that the “her” is ONLY a woman put way for fornication. In truth, it is any put away woman or man.

Is this a Bible truth or a theory? We know where brother Cavender stands. Let the reader stand with the Scriptures.

Is Jesus’ Teaching Really a Theory?

Is Jesus’ teaching that the put away person cannot remarry really a theory? brother Cavender described Jesus’ teaching at least 13 times as a “theory.” Once, brother Cavender even referred to it as a “contorted theory.”

Brother Cavender serves as a Staff Writer for Truth Magazine. At least two of the men on Truth Magazine’s Board of Directors also teach what Jesus taught – that a put away woman may not remarry – the very teaching that brother Cavender calls a “contorted theory.”

Notice what brother Connie Adams said in the August 19, 2004 issue of Truth Magazine:

“When it comes to the issue of divorce and remarriage, we must be careful to respect what the Lord has said. There is a good deal of tension now over what is being called ‘mental divorce’ in which a party who was put away for some other cause than fornication may later put away a mate who either marries again or else commits adultery after the fact of the divorce. Jesus said, ‘And whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery’ (Matt. 5:32). The same thing is stated in Matthew 19:9. When we have exhausted all the emotional arguments about fairness, and the intricacies of what constitutes ‘putting away,’ these passages will still say what they have always said… It is not binding where Jesus did not bind to say that one who has been divorced is not free to marry for that is precisely what Jesus said. {emphasis mine – dwjr} If what is described here does not constitute a mental dismissal, or a second putting away, after the marriage has ended legally and in fact, then I am at a loss as to what to call it.”

Notice what brother Donnie Rader said in his lecture at Florida College on February 8, 2001 (http://www.truthmagazine.com/fclecture2001.html):

“The more I study divorce and remarriage the more I am convinced that Matthew 19:9 is just as simple as Acts 2:38. Neither text is hard – only what people say about them. With both, quibbles are made that make the issues that surround them seem difficult. But, when we go back to what the text says, it is simple and understandable.”

And later:

“Determining who has a right to remarry is not as difficult as some may think. A couple of simple questions give us the needed information. “Who put who away?” And, “What was the cause of the divorce?” If the person in question is the one who put away his mate, he fits into the first clause of Matthew 19:9. If it was for fornication, he can remarry. If it was not for fornication, he cannot remarry. If the person in question is the one who was put away, he fits into the second clause of Matthew 19:9. He cannot remarry. Now, that’s simple!” {emphasis mine – dwjr}

And later:

“In fact, there has been a shift in attitude toward those who defend the truth and those who teach error on divorce and remarriage. The men who call us back to the pattern of Matthew 5 and 19 are the “bad guys” who trouble Israel while those whose teaching we agree does not fit the Lord’s instructions are the “good guys” who are to be used and honored!”

I do not quote these men as authorities. Only God’s word is our authority. My purpose in quoting brother Adams and brother Rader is simply to inquire as to whether brother Cavender considers them also to be teachers of error and a “contorted theory.”

I know of other men who presently serve as Staff Writers for Truth Magazine who teach just exactly what Jesus teaches on this subject – that a put away wife cannot remarry. Will brother Cavender also describe these fellow Staff Writers as teachers of a “contorted theory”?

But on the other hand, are there other Truth Magazine Staff Writers or Board Members who agree with brother Cavender – that when one teaches that a put away wife cannot remarry – he is teaching a “contorted theory”? I’ve heard brother Weldon Warnock on his radio program, as he rejects the idea that Jesus forbids remarriage for a put away spouse. Are there others who agree with Woods/Cavender/Warnock?

Some Wise Words From Young brother Cavender

In the same 1960 Gospel Guardian article we started with, listen to young brother Cavender describe the course of apostasy:

“The course of apostasy has three ingredients: (1) Lack of knowledge of and a disrespect for the will of God; (2) Exaltation of human leaders and human wisdom; (3) time.”

Amen young brother Cavender. Amen.

The present apostasy concerning MDR is upon us because men lack proper knowledge, and they disrespect God’s word. Sadly, brother Cavender apparently lacks a sufficient knowledge of what Jesus taught on this vital subject and he disrespects God’s word by blatantly teaching something that is so clearly contradictory to all that the Scriptures say on this subject.

This present apostasy is upon us because men exalt human leaders and human wisdom. Brother Cavender does not get support for his position from plain simple Bible teaching. Brother Cavender uses twisted human logic and emotional stories to garner support for his teaching. He cites a preacher that was caught up in the apostasy of institutionalism in order to define his own views. In the end, brother Cavender has exalted human wisdom over the plain simple wisdom that is from above.

And we have the final ingredient: time. Brother Cavender has been teaching this doctrine for 58 years. That means that for 58 years he has been teaching this damnable heresy (2 Peter 2:1) which results in adulterous marriages and false hope.

Brother Cavender, please listen to young brother Cavender. Recognize that this false teaching of yours leads brethren into error and apostasy. Please repent from this false teaching. Brethren need your preaching, teaching, and historical perspectives – but only to the extent they fully and completely harmonize with the Word of God.

Bible Principles Regarding Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage

David Watts Jr.

Perhaps like many others, I’ve read with keen interest brother Bill Cavender’s recent series of articles titled: “Observations and Experiences Regarding Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage” as they have appeared in Truth Magazine.

After reading and considering four such articles in this series, I am now convinced that these kinds of articles are not the answer to the problems many brethren and churches face regarding marriage, divorce and remarriage. There is something far more needed by brethren than the “observations and experiences” of a man. The solution to the marriage and divorce problems that brethren and churches are experiencing will not and cannot come from human observations and experiences; the solution can only come from Bible doctrine and Bible principles.

Thus, instead of considering “observations and experiences”, let’s consider “Doctrine and Principles Regarding Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage.”

Brother Dennis Abernathy, Barry Pennington, and I visited personally with brother Bill Cavender in Longview, Texas on April 15, 2004 and discussed in detail with him what he teaches and what he believes about Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. In our presence, brother Cavender acknowledged that he believes and teaches that a wife, who was put away by her husband for some cause other than fornication, can remarry with God’s approval when her ex-husband remarries or has sexual relations with another. He teaches that this woman who was put away not for fornication, can remarry with God’s blessing and without committing adultery.

I find brother Cavender’s views to be without Scriptural basis and his teaching to be in contradiction to God’s word. I told him so when I visited with him, and we have emailed each other about these matters in the interim. Therefore, in order to help brethren turn aside the false doctrine that brother Cavender believes and teaches, and the emotion-based arguments he is making, I believe the following Bible doctrine and principles need to be stressed.

Unlawful Divorce is a Real Event.

It really is possible for a person to divorce his or her spouse contrary to God’s will. Jesus presents this scenario in Matthew 5:32, 19:9, Mark 10:11-12 and Luke 16:18. Matthew 5:32 especially makes this clear as Jesus says, “But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality…” Jesus is not discussing a hypothetical situation that can never actually occur.

Contrary to some preachers who tell us that a divorce for a cause other than fornication is not a real divorce – Jesus teaches otherwise. In this place, and in Matthew 19:9, and in Mark 10:11-12, Jesus describes what a person can do, but should not do.

If we are fair and honest with the Scriptures we will see that there are many such examples of things that man can do, but should not do. For example, in Matthew 5 Jesus repeats instructions from the Old Law. Men were commanded not to murder, not to commit adultery and not to swear falsely. Yet, the Old Covenant is full of examples of men who chose to murder, commit adultery, and swear falsely.

A divine prohibition against a thing does not make it impossible for a man to commit that thing. It really is possible for a husband to take unlawful action against his wife and divorce her, in violation of God’s will. And, of course, it is possible for a wife to do the same.

Unlawful Divorce has Real Consequences

Although such a divorce is unlawful, unwarranted and unscriptural it has real consequences. This should not surprise us. We realize that when a man unlawfully murders another, it has real consequences. We realize that it is unlawful for a father to provoke his children to wrath, but that he can do so, and when he does so it has real consequences.

Yet, I’ve seen many preachers of late argue something along these lines: “God doesn’t recognize that unlawful divorce.” If you ask “Why?” they might say something like this: “That man had no right to divorce his innocent wife. What he did was against God’s law and God will not recognize that divorce.”

Let’s examine that thinking for a moment. Take that kind of argument and replace the word “divorce” with “murder.” Does the argument still make sense? Certainly not, because unlawful and immoral actions are still real actions and still have real consequences.

Consider the sin of abortion. When a woman decides to destroy the human life that is developing within her, it is an unlawful and unscriptural action. Yet, it is a real action with real consequences that all can see and understand. Abortion is unlawful. Divorce not for fornication is unlawful. Yet they are both real events with real consequences.

Furthermore, let’s apply this line of reasoning to what Jesus taught about the one lawful cause for divorce. If an unlawful divorce is not recognized by God because it was contrary to scripture, then why is fornication (which is most clearly unlawful) recognized by God as a lawful cause for divorce?

We can’t have it both ways brethren. We must be consistent with God’s word. God’s word makes clear that unlawful actions are still real actions with real consequences. Fornication is unlawful yet it is a real action with real consequences. Murder is unlawful yet it is a real action with real consequences. And divorce not for fornication is unlawful yet it is a real action with real consequences.

The link between the unlawful action and the consequences is clearly laid out by Jesus. Jesus said in Matthew 5:32 that when a man divorces his wife, not for fornication, he “causes her to commit adultery…” and in Matthew 19:9 Jesus said that a man who divorces his wife, not for fornication, and marries another “commits adultery…”

These are real consequences of real actions. To be sure, the non-fornication divorce is unlawful and unscriptural. Yet it is real and it has real consequences.

Adultery Upon Remarriage

Jesus makes the truth of this consequence very clear. In Matthew 5:32, 19:9 and Luke 16:18 Jesus makes abundantly clear that if a man divorces his wife, not for fornication, and marries another, he commits adultery. This is a real consequence of a real, albeit unlawful, divorce.

Nowhere does Jesus say that because the original divorce was unlawful, it lacks real consequences. In fact, this is just the first of several consequences.

I suppose that in the present discussion, this particular consequence is not often challenged. I reckon that it fits our human notions of justice to think that the lousy husband that put away his wife, not for fornication, will be guilty of adultery when he remarries. Perhaps we see that as immediate punishment for his sin.

But let us realize that adultery is that which involves two parties. If he remarries, he may marry a woman that has never been married before. Sadly, she is now also involved in adultery, as she has no right to be married to that man.

This is just one area of real consequences that result from the unlawful and unscriptural divorce.

When the Put Away Remarries: Adultery

Here is where a number of brethren are trying to change what God’s word teaches. For example, brother Cavender strongly believes (and tried to convince me of it as well) that a put away wife (where no fornication was involved) can remarry just as soon as her ex-husband remarries or has sexual relations with another. This is nothing more than the old waiting game and mental divorce repackaged to be more appealing.

Brother Cavender’s teaching simply does not square with what Jesus taught. Jesus spoke on this very circumstance three times:

(1) “…and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:32)

(2) “…and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9)

(3) “…and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.” (Luke 16:18)

Who is this woman? Jesus answers that question when He describes this woman as “a woman who is divorced…” or “her who is divorced from her husband…” Contextually, the woman that commits adultery if she remarries is the woman that was unlawfully put away by her husband. It is the innocent wife put away not for fornication.

Thus, the clear reading is simple. Jesus teaches that if a wife is divorced by her husband, a consequence of this unlawful and unscriptural action is that both the divorcer and divorcee, the one who put away and the one who was put away – should not marry any other person while their original spouse still lives. If either of them does, it is adultery.

So what we end up with is this: Jesus said, “whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.” I and many others teach the words of Christ. brother Cavender has told me that when I teach this doctrine I am “fooling with this theory.” Yet I am adding nothing to what Jesus taught.

On the contrary, the claims of the false teaching we are evaluating force the reader to add a new exception to the teachings of Jesus as follows: “whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery, unless her ex-husband has remarried or engaged in fornication with another.” Are the words of Jesus a “theory” or are the additions of men a theory? Let the reader determine whether the words of Jesus are just “theory” or whether the additions of man are “theory.” The answer should be obvious to each of us.

No matter who the man, when a man teaches what is contrary to the word of God, our view should be similar to that of Paul’s. I implore all readers to adhere to the standard revealed in Romans 3:4 where Paul proclaims, “Indeed, let God be true but every man a liar.”

What also happens is that some start to inject their human standards of what is fair and just into the equation. Some start to tell endless stories of sad marriage and divorce situations — perhaps for the purpose of making emotional appeals. In their articles and preaching they lament the terrible circumstances that some innocent wives have found themselves in when their sinful husbands divorced them without just cause. Are these sad stories offered as an effort to change or obscure the truth of what Jesus revealed? If we collect and publish enough sad stories will the collective weight of their solemnity outweigh divinely revealed Scripture?

May it never be so! All the sad stories in the world do not change what Christ said. Matthew 5:32 and these other passages still read the same. Of course, as loving Christians we ought to embrace such people that have been unjustly put away. We ought to love and comfort such people. But, if we attempt to teach them that they have a right to remarry, when the Lord forbids such, this is not love and comfort. This is cruel deceit that creates false hopes and encourages people to enter into new and adulterous marriages. Such is not love.

Such offering of sad stories reminds me of arguments used by our Baptist friends against baptism. When they fail to overthrow the weight of Scripture that clearly teaches that Baptism is essential for the remission of sins, they trot out their sad stories. There’s endless varieties of stories about the sad case of the man killed in the car wreck on the way to be baptized and the poor chap that wants to be baptized in the desert but can’t find water. Such stories are not Bible authority and in fact are nothing more than emotional appeals. At the end of the day, Scripture still says the same thing. The same has been true of orphan’s homes, sponsoring church arrangements and everything else where man supposes he has a better approach than God.

Innocents Often Bear the Consequences of Sinners’ Actions.

When people fail to make a scriptural case that a put away woman can remarry once her husband remarries, they will sometimes make the following argument. Note that this is not a scriptural argument, but again appeals to emotion. From more than one source I’ve heard this emotional argument:

“I just don’t think God would have that innocent wife live the rest of her life alone and celibate because of the actions of her sorry husband.”

Friends, when someone starts a line of argumentation with “I just don’t think…” you can be well assured they are making an extra-biblical argument. If they had Scripture, they wouldn’t start with “I just don’t think…” Instead, they would start with “Jesus says…” or “the Bible says…”

The only one that has the right to “think” for God is God. According to 1 Corinthians 2:12 the way we learn what God wants is by divine revelation. Paul says, “Now we have received… the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.”

How are we going to know what God wants? Is it by some man saying, “I just don’t think….” Or is it by means of God’s revelation? Clearly, we can reject the “I just don’t think…” argument and cling to divine revelation instead.

Furthermore, this line of extra-Biblical, emotional arguing doesn’t even hold up to reasonable examination. Consider the following. Do innocent Christians today live with lifelong consequences created by the choices made by sinful scoundrels? Ask the parents of a young lady killed by a drunk driver if they are living with the lifelong consequences of a drunkard’s choice. If a young wife were to be beaten into a coma by a thug, will her husband not live with the consequences of some criminal’s sinful choices? Will a wife whose husband is made a paraplegic by a speeding driver not live with lifelong consequences?

I offer these hypothetical questions merely as a means of illustrating that this emotional argument (“I just don’t think God expects her to live alone….”) is utterly bankrupt and without merit.

Beyond the hypothetical situations, many times the Scriptures show that innocent persons suffered because of the sin of the guilty. Did not the innocent Uriah suffer and die because of King David’s sinful actions (2 Samuel 11:17, 24)? Did not the innocent child of David and Bathsheeba suffer and die because of King David’s sinful actions (2 Samuel 12:14)? When someone claims that God doesn’t permit the innocent to suffer because of the action of the guilty, they’re simply making a non-biblical emotional argument.

There’s another interesting aspect to this argument that some offer. Those who have offered this theory say that she (the put away wife) must wait until her ex-husband has sexual relations with someone or remarries, before she can remarry. Again, the justification for this is that “we don’t think” God would have her spend the rest of her life alone and celibate.

But what happens if the ex-husband does not remarry and does not have sexual relations with another? This certainly is possible. Paul instructs in 1 Cor. 7:11 that those in this kind of circumstance must “remain unmarried or be reconciled.” Suppose reconciliation is not possible. He remains unmarried and keeps himself pure. How long must his wife remain alone and celibate? Even according to their extra-biblical theory, the answer is that she must remain alone and celibate for the rest of her life, or her ex-husband’s life.

But some argue “we just don’t think God would have someone pay that kind of price for the actions of another.” Therefore, if many years drag on, will they seek to allow her to remarry even before the ex-husband remarries? If their argument is evaluated in a consistent and fair fashion – it requires such a view. I am confident that no thoughtful brother in Christ can hold such a position – as it is utterly devoid of Scriptural basis.

Of course, their argument is devoid of scriptural basis in the first place and has no merit.

Death Severs the Bond

God does provide a means for a wife, put away for a cause other than fornication, to marry another. It is revealed in Romans 7:2-3. It is quite simply this: “For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband.”

Notice that marriage to another before the death of her husband is strictly forbidden. Notice again what Paul said in verse 3: “So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress…”

We understand from what Jesus reveals in the Gospels that a woman has a right to divorce her husband for the cause of fornication if while during their marriage he has sexual relations with another. In such case she has the right of remarriage.

If she was divorced for non-fornication reasons, can she marry another once he marries another? Jesus and Paul reveal that if she does marry another while her previous husband lives, she commits adultery.

Paul also addresses this in 1 Corinthians 7:10 when he makes clear that when there has been a divorce that is not for fornication, each party has two options: “…let her (1) remain unmarried or (2) be reconciled to her husband.”

There is no third option, as some would have us believe. Paul did not say, “(1) Remain unmarried, or (2) be reconciled, or (3) wait for him to remarry.”

If any man preaches option 3, let them explain to us from the Scriptures why Paul never gave an option 3. Its time to drop our human additions and stick with exactly what the Lord revealed.

Man’s Ideas of Fairness

It is abundantly obvious, that man’s ideas on what is fair or not fair do not change divinely revealed doctrine. Isaiah 55:9 reminds us, “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.” We all need the attitude expressed in Jeremiah 10:23, “O Lord, I know the way of man is not in himself; It is not in man who walks to direct his own steps.” And may we always believe with our whole heart that reverent sentiment expressed in Psalm 119:105, “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

God did not ask me or any other man how He should structure His law on marriage and divorce. If He had, perhaps we would have wanted to do some things different. But certainly we can agree that God’s standards are perfect, and our ideas would have fallen far short of God’s wisdom.


We Must Teach People to “Observe All Things.”

Sometimes people who are serious about preaching, teaching, and practicing just exactly what the Lord revealed about marriage and divorce are chided for not getting busy with “preaching salvation to a lost and dying world.” Sometimes it is argued that preachers need to quit studying and discussing what God said about marriage and divorce and get back to preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

This reminds me of the attacks that were made on some brethren who opposed the false teaching of Homer Hailey on the divorce and remarriage of non-Christians. Were brethren right to oppose Hailey’s false doctrine or were they shrinking from their duties of “preaching salvation to a lost and dying world”? If they were motivated by love of truth and love of souls, then of course they were right in opposing error. And exposing error is a critical part of preaching salvation and truth:

“Speak these things, exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no one despise you.” Titus 2:15

Now, some of these same brethren who rightly opposed Hailey’s false teaching are themselves teaching error. When they are confronted about it, they make a familiar claim. They claim that there’s “more important doctrine we should be teaching.” They claim that we just need to get busy saving souls and quit discussing marriage, divorce and remarriage. Never mind the fact that the way one saves souls is by preaching the truth of the Gospel and rejecting all error and false teaching.

Here’s a simple question. Why was it right for some of these men to oppose brother Hailey’s false teaching, and now it is wrong for us to oppose their unscriptural teaching?

The truth of the matter is that what the Lord revealed about marriage and divorce is indeed the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I fear that some have fallen for the old foolishness of that false distinction between “gospel” and “doctrine.”

Jesus makes it clear that we are to preach salvation and preach right living. Matthew 28:19 records these words of Jesus, “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Perhaps, some have then ignored what Jesus said in verse 20: “teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you…” Does verse 20 include the things commanded in Matthew 5:32, 19:9, Mark 10:10-12 and Luke 16:18? Indeed it does.

A Gospel preacher’s work is not strictly about preaching what is truth on marriage and divorce. But neither is it strictly about preaching the plan of salvation. We must be like Paul, so that we can say, “I have not shunned to declare to you the whole counsel of God” (Acts 20:27). We must follow the instructions given to Titus in Titus 3:8, “This is a faithful saying, and these things I want you to affirm constantly, that those who have believed in God should be careful to maintain good works….” Constant affirmation of Bible truths to Christians is a part of what God expects of those who preach.

We know that Paul preached salvation to lost and dying people. But we also know that Paul spent considerable time trying to help Christians grow and mature and live according to God’s standards. Indeed, are not the epistles of the New Testament all written with the primary goal of helping Christians bring their lives into compliance with God’s standards.

Let us always be actively preaching and teaching God’s word to the lost. But let us also be actively preaching and teaching God’s word to Christians as well – even God’s doctrine and principles about marriage and divorce. Let’s dispense with the emotional stories and get back to the inspired Word.

False Teachers Need to be Rejected.

1 Peter 4:11 commands everyone of us to “…speak as the oracles of God.” Is that really happening when brethren teach and preach new ways for divorced people to remarry?

2 John 9 instructs us that “Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God…” When men add new ways to remarry after a divorce, are they really abiding in the doctrine of Christ?

Paul writes to the Thessalonian brethren in 2 Thessalonians 3:14, that “…if anyone does not obey our word in this epistle, note that person and do not keep company with him, that he may be ashamed.” If a preacher preaches what Jesus did not authorize and will not change his views, doesn’t this passage have application?

Paul reminded the Corinthian brethren in 1 Corinthians 4:6, “…not to think beyond what is written…” Isn’t it time for some to cease thinking beyond what has been revealed?

The consequences are high. The dangers are before us. Some are teaching false doctrine and are giving cruel false hope to men and women that have been divorced. More than that, they are encouraging them to sin by entering into adulterous marriages.

Let us each hold true to the divinely revealed standard about marriage, divorce and remarriage. Let us reject the emotional stories and experiences. Let us reject human additions and convoluted arguments. We must hold fast to the plain simple teaching of our Lord. Jesus Christ so plainly taught:

“Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced from her husband commits adultery.” Luke 16:18.

You’ve got to work pretty hard to get around that kind of simple Bible teaching.